Why Long Term Relationships Fail....

This feeling....

Doesn't last forever.

You hear everyone say that relationships aren't easy. However, when you first enter one, you would swear those people were lying to you. It's all roses and flowers. Sex and "I love you"'s. Dates and words of romance.

Listen to me when I say those things fade.

Being in a long-term relationship is hard. When I say hard, I actually mean to-the-bone, soul testing difficult. Eventually, you move in together. You talk more about chores and work than where you want to go with your life or the interests you have. You get caught in this loop of dependency and under-appreciation. It's not pretty, folks.

"where is your heart? Because I don't really feel you."

I've been pretty down about things recently if you haven't noticed through my blog and face book posts. I've been falling into a familiar old place and I don't like where it's taking me. I took this opportunity to get extremely drunk and have "girl talk" with a good friend of mine, Miss Mary.

She's been with her boyfriend 4 or 5 years and she can relate a lot to what I needed to say.

In our good hour of talking about insecurities of relationships and the firey blaze dying into a single constant flame, I took one thing she said to me straight to heart. Since that night, it's been replaying in my head.

"Men need to feel loved too. They need that reassurance."

Men don't act as though they do, but this is the truth. Men need to be reminded just as much as us women that they are wanted, both mentally and physically. This is probably the biggest problem in relationships. When you become serious with someone, you take on a certain responsibility in their life. You are making a promise to be there to listen to stories about their terrible day at work, to share in daily chores, and be an active part of their life. A lot of times, this role can being to be taken for granted. Once you're used to your partner being around each day, you forget how lonely it was before they arrived. This is no excuse, however, you stop giving him the attention he needs and deserves from you.

When men, or women, feel as though they aren't getting the attention they need, they do just as children do. They act out. Most definitely not in the same ways that children do, but in a way that is generally very harmful to the relationship they are in. They begin reaching out to others for that attention they need. Friends and family usually don't make the cut because they've been receiving the same amount of attention from them for years. Instead, they generally reach out to the opposite sex. They want to get that feeling that someone needs to talk to them each day and actually hear what they have to say. By refusing to give your significant other the attention they deserve, you're doing your part in driving them further and further away.

As far as how to give this attention to men...besides "I love you" and making sure he's getting laid regularly, well, I'm still working on that. Leave some comments if you've got any advice there.

As far as making your special lady feel as though you still appreciate her.
-Maybe buy her flowers once a month...like the day you got together(So, if you got together May 26, buy her flowers or even just a flower on the 26th of each month).
-Remember to always tell her she's beautiful.
-Kiss her for a long time without expectations of sex. or at least kiss her more once you've had sex.
-Give her reasons why you love her, don't just say it. Ex: I love you because of the way your hair smells when you get out of the shower.
-Take photographs with her to let her look back on all the wonderful years you've spent together with clearer vision.

Again, leave comments and let me know if you can think of any more.
If I can get enough advice, I might do another post purely on how to appreciate your significant other.

Why Lance and My's apartment never gets clean

I found this online a few days ago and realized this is that Lance and I go through this every few days.
So...that's why our house never seems to get clean.

In A Relationship

Alright, time for the post on being in a relationship. This one, I'm kind of cheating. I found something online, and the first ten points I'm posting word for word. Here's the link. I'm adding a few in of my own at the end. The last post was actually fairly difficult to write, because I don't particularly enjoy the thought of being single. It just seems horrid. I'd much rather have the following things.

1. You feel accomplished. Being in a good healthy relationship is like getting accepted into an Ivy League school. You feel really special and secure, and you’re also promised a job {marriage} when you graduate.

2. You learn so much about yourself. Every unattractive quality you never knew you had will surface and you’ll begin to understand yourself in a whole new way. This will allow you to make some necessary changes. Stable relationships are like crash courses in getting to know yourself. By the end of it, you’ll hopefully be a better version of yourself.

3. You can go to a bar or a house party and take solace in knowing that you have someone who loves you. The pressure is off. You look around and see people dressed to the nines in hopes that they can spend the next eight hours with someone who doesn’t completely repulse them. You wore Uggs and have ketchup on your face because you already have someone who promises to love you forever and ever. You put away the sequined single girl dress a long time ago.

4. Make up sex. It’s powerful and it’s vulnerable and it’s angry and it’s tender. It’s a cacophony of emotions and you can’t seem to get their body close enough to yours. Is there any way they can be more inside of you? Is there any way you can feel more connected?

5. You can dip your feet in the Compromise pool and wiggle your toes in the Selfless waterfall. Learning to put someone’s needs before your own is a valuable life skill that can usually only be achieved by entering a relationship and/or having children. Instead of being a rigid control freak, you’ll have to adapt a little bit and be open to different things. This is a good thing! Being a control freak gets you nowhere besides having a potentially lucrative career and an all access pass to the Tracy Flick Alienation Hour. It’s beneficial sometimes to eat Italian when you’re craving Mexican food. It’s good for your soul to know that you can’t always get what you want. And if you love the person, you really shouldn’t give a shit about eating spaghetti and meatballs when you were ravenous for a burrito.

6. You get the opportunity to become really good at sex. The people you have casual sex with don’t care if you’re a bad kisser or give terrible oral. They have no investment in the relationship so they just send you off to the next person. When you’re having sex with the same person, however, you get individual intense attention. You have the time to figure out what works and what doesn’t, which will definitely help make you a better lay. If you’re with someone indefinitely, you should have no qualms with telling them things like, “Kiss like this. I like it when you do it like this and I don’t like it when you do it like that.” Constructive feedback is the best gift a lover could give you!

7. You can relate to your friends who have been in relationships. There’s no longer this awkward divide between you two. You get it! All those times they bitched to you about a poorly worded text message makes sense! You’re sorry to ever have thought they were just being a crazy bitch!

8. You can know what it feels like to love someone unconditionally. To really know that you would do anything for someone is a great feeling. You want to make them happy. You love to see them smile. You just believe them in so much. It’s great. It’s what we were built to do.

9. You can achieve the kind of happiness that only a lover can give you. You’ll be satisfied doing things that used to make you feel lonely. Spending all day in bed is a new adventure. Going to Kinko’s with your significant other to fax something can be a blast! OMG babe, we love Kinko’s!

10. You can change your status to “In A Relationship” on Facebook, which is 60% of the reason why you got into the relationship to begin with. Acquaintances who lurk you can see it and know that you’re living a healthy well-adjusted life. You’re not one of those forgotten ones.____________

11. Being in a relationship is great because you have that promise of having a good night kiss each night before you lie down. You have that promise that someone will be next to you throughout the night. Having someone to wake up to after a horrible nightmare is one of the most comforting things one will ever know. Each morning you are guaranteed to wake up to that beautiful face you have come to love and kiss those lips each morning.

12. There is a less likely chance you're going to get sexually transmitted diseases. I know those things are pretty common, but they're especially common in people who sleep with...well, everyone. If you're actually settled down in a relationship, more than likely you are not with someone that is sleeping with everyone. If you're a person like me that doesn't really have flings, and stays with one person for long periods of time, you're better off. The less people you sleep with, the less likely you're going to get an STD.

13. Not only do you have the opportunity of getting better at sex, but you're actually having it! No more 3 month dry spells. More than likely, you're getting laid at least a few times a week if you are in a healthy, stable relationship.

14. Suddenly, holidays don't seem to bad. When Thanksgiving and Christmas come around, being alone is horrid. You just wish there was someone you could cuddle up on the couch with drinking hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies. When you are in a relationship, these are the things you do. Plus, Valentines Day is so much better when you're not single.

15. As you get older, your friends have their lives and you have yours. Sometimes, you just don't feel like you can't talk to them about things or maybe their just not listening. When you're in a relationship, there's always someone to talk to. The best part is that in some ways, they know you better than you know yourself.Your significant other picks up on the exact face you make when you're upset but don't want to admit to it. They pull the things out of you that need to be talked about because they hate seeing you sad.

16. Stories are so much better when you have a constant person. When you're switching boyfriends like shoes, it's not acceptable to tell the stories of the crazy times you had with your ex. Being in a stable relationship, you create many of those stories and they remember them just as you do. They are told to your friends and family throughout the years and they hold so much more meaning being with one person that 20 different people.

Being in a relationship is really amazing. People who are single bitch about how they want to be someone and a lot of people who have been in a relationship say they wish they could be single for awhile again. Personally, I'm not one for being single. I like sharing my life with someone. I like being there to make someone happy. I like the adventures and conversations that never get old. 

This

looks a lot better than this

If you're not in a relationship and this blog post just bummed you out, check out the pros of being Single.