Social Media, Man.

Snapshat seems so vain...like, you're pretty much just sending people pictures of you and what you're doing. That seems so bizarre to me. I've been told I don't "get it" because I'm in a long term relationship, but from what I've heard that its pretty much a way to get single ladies to send you nude pictures since you can't "save" the pictures. Screenshot does exist on phones these days, ladies.

I guess I can't say much. I'm on instagram which is basically the same thing, but to everyone, so I'm not getting those dirty pictures out and about. I mostly post pictures I'm proud of following the previous five of my cats.

Social media is just weird in general. Think about those words: Social Media.

The definition on dictionary.com is "websites and other online means ofcommunication that are used by large groups of people to share information and to develop social and professional contacts." However, when we look at the words apart... Social: "seeking or enjoying the companionship ofothers" and media "the means ofcommunication, as radio and television, newspapers, and magazines, that reach or influence people widely." Basically, what I'm getting at is social media is kind of....weird.

Those last five words of the definition of media, "reach or influence people widely," stand out to me most. When it comes to social media, we share the moments that we want others to see. We share the party pictures, visiting important momuments, summer adventures, and the moments that make us and our sigificant other seem flawless. The people on your facebook, twitter, instagram, and whatever else is out there...they don't see the moments you were crying in the bathroom because your crush was paying more attention to some other girl more than you, when you got lost on the way to said monument and almost cried because unfamiliar places scare the living hell out of you, when you got too drunk to make it to the toilet to vomit and puked all the way down the hallway, or that big fight that you and you're S.O. got into when you were being a complete bitch at the party and didn't realize because you were too fucked up to function.

When I drink, I become sort of a facebook stalker (don't judge me). I'll scroll through my updates like we all do and think to myself, "I wonder what they're up to." Then I tend to go to their page, look through they're updates from the last three months, go through their pictures, and see what their work/relationship history has been in the last 6 months. Often, I find myself jealous at first. "Look at the parties they've been going to; They look like a riot." "Man, they've been together for 3 years and they still like they love each other to no ends and couldn't stand to spend 5 minutes without each other."

Then I step back and distance myself for a moment and look at my own Facebook profile. Then I realize "Holy shit, They're no better off than I am." When you look at my profile, it seems like I have had no bad moments in the last..several years. I have pictures of good times at the bar, house parties, small shindigs, perfect photos of Lancelot and I going on adventures, and updates that depict how great life is going for me.





Don't get me wrong. Lancelot and I get into fights about who is going to clean the litter box, I've been the girl crying in the bathroom, and financial situations haven't always been the easiest on us. When I look back on it all though, I realize I'm one lucky lady. Lancelot and I hardly ever fight, I'm always making new friends, and I get the opportunity to have spontaneous fun experiences more than most.

 So, I advise you, next time you use some form of social media, don't judge you're life by it. Everyone has their struggles and their bad moments, but no one ever takes photos of those; If they do, hardly anyone is cruel enough to actually post them. What you see online is not what actually what's going on, it's the very best of it.

As 90's kids, we expect so much more from life because the internet has tought us that. Don't use that as discouragement, use it to make something bigger and better than everything you've seen. Go to college, travel, make a difference. Don't sit around taking pity on yourselves. Use it as inspiration to make the things you see online everything you can (and hopefully will) be in your lives.

I wish the best of luck to all of you!

Why Long Term Relationships Fail....

This feeling....

Doesn't last forever.

You hear everyone say that relationships aren't easy. However, when you first enter one, you would swear those people were lying to you. It's all roses and flowers. Sex and "I love you"'s. Dates and words of romance.

Listen to me when I say those things fade.

Being in a long-term relationship is hard. When I say hard, I actually mean to-the-bone, soul testing difficult. Eventually, you move in together. You talk more about chores and work than where you want to go with your life or the interests you have. You get caught in this loop of dependency and under-appreciation. It's not pretty, folks.

"where is your heart? Because I don't really feel you."

I've been pretty down about things recently if you haven't noticed through my blog and face book posts. I've been falling into a familiar old place and I don't like where it's taking me. I took this opportunity to get extremely drunk and have "girl talk" with a good friend of mine, Miss Mary.

She's been with her boyfriend 4 or 5 years and she can relate a lot to what I needed to say.

In our good hour of talking about insecurities of relationships and the firey blaze dying into a single constant flame, I took one thing she said to me straight to heart. Since that night, it's been replaying in my head.

"Men need to feel loved too. They need that reassurance."

Men don't act as though they do, but this is the truth. Men need to be reminded just as much as us women that they are wanted, both mentally and physically. This is probably the biggest problem in relationships. When you become serious with someone, you take on a certain responsibility in their life. You are making a promise to be there to listen to stories about their terrible day at work, to share in daily chores, and be an active part of their life. A lot of times, this role can being to be taken for granted. Once you're used to your partner being around each day, you forget how lonely it was before they arrived. This is no excuse, however, you stop giving him the attention he needs and deserves from you.

When men, or women, feel as though they aren't getting the attention they need, they do just as children do. They act out. Most definitely not in the same ways that children do, but in a way that is generally very harmful to the relationship they are in. They begin reaching out to others for that attention they need. Friends and family usually don't make the cut because they've been receiving the same amount of attention from them for years. Instead, they generally reach out to the opposite sex. They want to get that feeling that someone needs to talk to them each day and actually hear what they have to say. By refusing to give your significant other the attention they deserve, you're doing your part in driving them further and further away.

As far as how to give this attention to men...besides "I love you" and making sure he's getting laid regularly, well, I'm still working on that. Leave some comments if you've got any advice there.

As far as making your special lady feel as though you still appreciate her.
-Maybe buy her flowers once a month...like the day you got together(So, if you got together May 26, buy her flowers or even just a flower on the 26th of each month).
-Remember to always tell her she's beautiful.
-Kiss her for a long time without expectations of sex. or at least kiss her more once you've had sex.
-Give her reasons why you love her, don't just say it. Ex: I love you because of the way your hair smells when you get out of the shower.
-Take photographs with her to let her look back on all the wonderful years you've spent together with clearer vision.

Again, leave comments and let me know if you can think of any more.
If I can get enough advice, I might do another post purely on how to appreciate your significant other.