10 Thing I Don't Understand

There are a lot of things I don't understand that people do. I'm going to make a list and see if any of you either have answers or it suddenly hits you and you think "I don't understand that either."

1. I don't understand why girls are always one their phone in the bathrooms. Before I worked at Accent, I saw this happen every once in awhile in public bathrooms. Ever since I started there, it's almost like a daily occurrence. Girls come into the bathroom with their phone up to their ear and right into the stall. I continue to hear them talk as they're peeing and it's just so incredibly awkward. Some of them are polite enough to ask them to hold a moment while they flush (I sure hope they mute them for that moment). I do not understand this. If you so desperately need to make a phone call, you could just as easily step outside and do so. This isn't middle school; you are allowed to have phones.

2. Why do girls feel the need to bring other girls into the bathroom with them? When it's a trip up to the city to go to the mall or something, I understand. It's a big place, everyone wants to stay together, everyone generally uses the restroom at the same time. In school, girls always went into the bathroom in hoards to do their make-up, talk, and whatever else giant groups of girls do in the school bathroom. Recently, I had a girlfriend of mine over. She was extremely drunk when she showed up, but she asked me to go to the bathroom with her. My response to her: "I thought only girls on TV did that." When she kept pushing me to go in there, I figured she had something to say about the guy she was on a sort-of-date with. Nope, she just dragged me in there and watch her pee while she talked about whats-his-face. It was extremely weird and just overall awkward.


3. Men don't have stalls for peeing. I'm sure it's just because I'm not a man that this seems like such a bizarre concept, but WHAT THE FUCK? I know men can just unzip the zipper and whip it out and pee. I understand that there are like...dividers, apparently. Still, there has to be that angle where you can see everything as you're walking by. I don't even like peeing in public if I can tell there is someone else in there. It makes me nervous. I just can't imagine not having a stall. It just mind fucks me.

4. Why are things that are so bad for you taste so good? This one i simply cannot explain. Everything that is bad for you tastes delicious and everything that is good for you tastes like the poop it grew in.

5. How did the Westboro Baptist Church get together? I think some crazy guy escaped from the insane asylum and broke all his friends out. Then, they began finding weak people that wanted to protest anything and everything just to piss most of society off. These people are fucking nutcases.

seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people?

6. Time. Time has always confused the heck out of me. As far as we know, time travel does not exist. Therefor, how on earth to we know time even exists. It's just a way of keeping track. I don't really know how to explain this one. It's an age old argument--at least with myself.

7. Promise Rings. To my understanding, a promise ring is a ring that you give to a girl to promise that you are going to spend the rest of your life with her, but it is not an engagement ring. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if that is the case, the concept is extremely stupid. A promise ring is just an excuse girls give to have men spend even more money on them. If you promise to be with me the rest of your life, an engagement ring will work just fine.

8. Why does fashion even exist? I sort of understand looking nice. Sort of. I think I just go out of my way to do it because it's how I was raised. I was raised that you don't go out looking like a complete bum. Do we simply have fashion to we can distinguish who is better or has more money than someone else? Men sure as fuck don't care what brand your purse is. The generic ones look just the same minus a thing or two. So why bother with a $600 Coach purse? I just don't get it.

9. Decorative Pillows. You put decorative pillows on your bed, even though no one ever goes in your bedroom except you. Every night, you spend 5 minutes taking these off your bed and placing them in a nice stack. Every morning, you spend 10 minutes making your bed and putting them back on so they look just right. The same goes for those decorative pillows on your couch, except they are moved and need to be perfectly placed back on time and time again throughout the day. That is so much wasted time! Plus, decorative pillows are roughly $20 a piece. A PIECE, PEOPLE. You want 5 decorative pillows for your bed? Well you're going to have to spend $100 and almost two hours of your week putting them on your bed just to remove them when you go to lie down to sleep.

Pillows, moooove! Quit hogging the whole couch.

10. Why are women so obsessed with make-up? Don't get me wrong, I wear make-up, too. I wear it probably once a week unless I get in a kick where I want to wear it everyday. This can last a week or two, after that I'll be done wearing it for the next month. I also have maybe 7 items of make-up while most girls have at least 50+. I have never understood the girls that simply cannot walk out of the house unless they've put on a whole new face than the one that walked out of the shower 10 minutes ago. Also, the fact that this process takes a good hour to an hour and a half is mind boggling. Give me ten minutes tops and I'm ready to go. The only reason it would take me longer than that is because I can't seem to find my keys or my left shoe.

"We're not leaving until I look like this. So it could be a few hours...or days."

One thing a lot of people don't understand why others have tattoos, click here to hear my thoughts on the matter.

Oh, and I just wanted to share this.

The Rules of Engagement

No, I'm not engaged. Don't let your minds run wild now.


It's supposedly going to be the end of the world in...an hour an a half or so. I'm blogging, so obviously I'm not too concerned. I did see that two new couples on facebook got engaged today, though. Crazy stuff! Guess the believe the world is ending tomorrow, so they had might as well make the promise of the rest of their lives today so they only have to be stuck with the idea of "being with someone for the rest of their lives" for one day and don't have to think about the fact that by doing so they will never be with another man/woman again.

I'm only particularly concerned about this in one case, because the girl is 18 and far too young to be getting engaged. She's just getting all excited about growing up and not really looking at how much longer she has to live and figure things out.

Getting engaged at 18 is so silly. You change alot from 18 to 21. I'm thinking back now to my eighteenth birthday.

At this time, I was living with my mother. I was getting my second tattoo. My first one without my mother having to sign. I was irresponsible with my money and did as I pleased. 18 year old me probably would have looked at me now and said "Cool hair, but what the hell happened to you?" I had little love for my family and a hate-filled heart. I was happy with my friends, but I felt miserable and lost even with the best of people around me. I've changed a lot since then. 

Six months after I turned 18, I found out I was pregnant. I believed my child's father was the love of my life and I would stay with him forever. We had a lovely relationship and we meshed so well.

Turns out, our relationship was built on extremely faulty grounds. I knew that at the time, but I didn't think it effected us later in the relationship. It did. We never passed the friend zone. We had a hard time saying "I love you" unless it wasn't in person. We had terribly communication skills. We were afraid to lose each other to other people all the time. We blamed it on our personalities and growing up in dysfunctional families. It was more than that, though. We worked out great together, but we would have been better never getting together and just sticking it out as friends.

It's been a little over 2 years since my eighteenth birthday. I can only imagine what the next two will bring or where they will take me. 

In any case, I've gotten a bit of subject.

Getting engaged, that's what this blog is supposed to be about.

There are a lot of things that people don't take into consideration when getting engaged that they should. If these are not things you think you and your partner can do or be, you should probably consider breaking it off, because as the famous Mrs. Barnes life tip says "Don't date anyone you don't see yourself marrying." More than likely, if you don't think you can be engaged to this person, you're probably not going to marry them.

• You have to be committed to get married, and to be committed, you must first be insane.--as said at a wedding I went to last summer. This is correct. The first and foremost thing in any good relationship is commitment. You can't be running after other girls or boys. You have to believe that your partner is the best choice for you and no matter how great someone else that prances along seems, you will not stray from that commitment in mind or body.
• Think about what your partner lacks in terms of what you had dreamt as being your "perfect mate." Are these things you are willing to live without for the rest of your life? If they're not, think twice about engagement. If your partner lacks a certain very important trait, are you willing to accept that? If not, you may resent them for it later.When you're with someone, you should not be with them to change them, but to love them for everything they are.
• Do you have similar plans for the future? Do you want to have children and he wants none? Does he want to travel, but you want to stay in your home town? Maybe you both want to have kids, but you want them at 22 and he doesn't want them until he's at least in his early 30's. Make sure to set these things straight before engagement. If you want different things out of life and are set on this, it's not worth it to try to stay together. Again, if one of you is stuck living the others dream, it can lead to resentment.
• Listen to those around you. If your friends and family hate him/her, it's probably not going to work. If this person cannot fit into your world, it is likely to ruin long term friendships or ties with your family. You will be stuck choosing between the people you've known all your life or the person you want to marry. This can cause a lot of distress in your life and put a lot of pressure on your partner.
• Take religion into consideration. If you are a full fledged christian and your partner is an atheist to the core, is this really going to work? Are you willing to respect their views? On the flip side, although you may both be agnostic now, are you willing to listen to your partner and respect him/her if she decides to get some faith and starts going to church every Sunday?
• Communication. Without communication, you have nothing in a relationship. If you aren't able to sit and talk things out, everyone gets stressed out. Either they build so much up that they eventually explode or they will find someone that will talk to them about their problems. This person will be someone they will later realize "I can really talk to this person about things. Maybe I'm not with the right person after all."
• Do you bring out the best in each other? Does she make you laugh? Did he teach you something you've always wanted to learn? Do you enjoy trying new things together? Does your partner seem enthusiastic about your interests or do they simply wish you'd just stop talking about them? Do you appreciate and love the things he does? 
• Consider how your partners body will change as s/he ages. Will you still love your partner if s/he gets fat? What about when s/he is old and gray? Will you still love your partner when she is going through menopause and acting psychotic? Will you still love him when he can no longer get it up?
• Consider your finances. Does she spend too much money on clothes when we need to pay the rent? Is he buying too many video games when electric is due in a week? Consider how much money you will be making and what you will be spending it on. Consider how much debt you have as a couple and how you are going to wipe that out. Consider how his/her credit score will effect bank loans, getting a house, or buying a car.
• How much do you love your him/her when s/he is in a bad mood? Are you willing to wake up to this person every single day for the rest of your life? Are you willing to kiss only his/her lips before bed each night and wake up to his/her face each morning? Are you willing to take the good days with the bad? In a relationship, if someone starts acting unreasonable, you can choose to walk away. When you marry, you're in it for the long run.

to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do us part.

Remember, marriage is forever. There is divorce, but people should really stop looking at that as an option unless there is some sort of abuse. When you marry, you should consider all of these things listed above. If you believe all of these are completely true for you and your partner. Take the plunge. 

If not, reconsider.

Don't jump into it just because you want to grow up or because you want to have children and you believe getting married is the only way to go about doing that. Don't do it because you'd really like a wedding or it just seems extremely exciting. Get married because you truly believe that you don't want to live another day without your partner in your life.

If you liked this, you'll definitely want to check out the pros of being In A Relationship so you don't forget why it's so nice not to still be searching for that special fish in the sea.

Self-Discovery

I'm realizing this blog has become alot about my own self-discovery. At first, I thought I was writing to keep people in the loop. I don't talk much anymore, especially about what's going on in my head, so I figured I'd let people who were interested know what was going on via blog. The more I started writing, I realized I was doing it more for myself. I've never been good with words, (you should have seen me during Public Speaking. It was embarassing) so when I write the right things just seem to come out more often (maybe it's that glorious backspace button).

My thoughts on being alone:
Being alone is a strange thing for me, then again, maybe it is for everyone. Growing up, I had friends, but I never had alot of them. Being an only child, I spent most of my time alone. Not until my 8th grade year did I become somewhat of a social butterfly. I began to love being around big groups of people and being emersed in something that wasn't all mine. I've always had a boyfriend to take up my time, even if he wasn't my very favorite person he was always a person to fall back on when everyone else let me down. Now, my boyfriend is gone, but he's still my number 1. However, I don't get to fall back on him so much now. When I'm lonely, I can't go to him. I don't want to be with anyone else that isn't my primary person, though. It doesn't feel right, especially with the way I feel about Charles. I hate being alone, too. It makes me feel tired and without purpose. I don't want to be around people, but I don't want to be alone. This...is lame. I'll stick with being alone for now.

My Concept of Time:
I have a terribly concept of time or at least I always thought I did. If an event happened, I couldn't tell you the month and if it was more than a year ago, the year. Charles always made me laugh when he told me I had a great concept of time, but I guess he was sort of right. I don't really measure time by the hours, months, or years. I seem to measure it by events (so that's how seasons of love originated). If someone asked me something I could tell you "Oh, that's when I was dating so and so" or "that was when so and so and I did this." I like measuring time that way, it doesn't make me feel so trapped in the clock. I can't believe how quickly life is passing me by.

My Thoughts on Discovering Myself:
Since Charles is gone and my internet will be disconnected sometime in the next 2 weeks, I believe, I'm working on doing some self-discovery. I want to learn about myself through writing and primarily drawing. I want to learn to kick ass at some first person shooter games so I can be the girl that can game with the guys. I want to stay up all night listening the radio and teaching myself to sing again. I want to take time to do all the things I enjoy that I haven't really taken the time to do in a long time. I want to learn to put my all into everything and not half-ass things anymore.

My Thoughts on Self-Portraits:
I've done alot of self-portraits since I started drawing again in the last year. I'm going to post a few of them on here and give the round-about time of the drawing. I like doing self-portraits because they help me find out sort of how I view myself at the time.

October 2010

November 2010

November 2010

December 2010

January 2011

January 2011

February 2011

February 2011

June 2011

June 2011