Missouri to California

In March of 2016, I was in a strange place. My daughter was three months old, I had been single for a year, and the fella I was with before that, I had been dating since 2011.

I was finally moving into my own place again for the first time in a year, and my current roommates were having a couple of their California friends over to visit the midwest. One friend in particular, I took an interest in. We didn't talk much in the days former, but we had this strange connection. I visited my (then) ex-roommates the day the Californians left. This fine fella and I had really hit it off the night before, but I was too afraid to make a real move on him; I was too afraid that a Missouri girl with a newborn, little direction in life, and few interests but her new child had any chance with this fella.

I added him on Facebook. I tried to be sly and gave him my phone number telling him I didn't have data when I wasn't home. We started texting. Then, we starting texting A LOT. We became more and more interested in each other and wanted to see each other again. He booked a flight, he was coming to see me in May. I counted down the days.


Our May trip was fabulous. We went to see Jersey Boys, we went to the zoo, we made key chains for each other. Ten days together, and I felt like I never wanted to leave him again. His presence felt so much like home when I hadn't had that feeling in so long.

He's a theatre fella, so times were hard. It took us five months so see each other again, but we talked every day. Texts, Facebook, and snapchat. Where would we be without these modern devices? He wasn't free again until October, but he flew me out to see his home town. Everything was strange there. The grass was brown instead of green, the trees were palm instead of maple, and people drove like maniacs. I spent 10 days there and each one was a new adventure. I saw the beach for the first time in my memorable life, I fed a giraffe, and even got to visit Universal Studios. He was trying to lure me in with all the things that California offered. I know it.

Two months later, he found time to make it my way for the Holidays. We celebrated his Jewish origin of Hannukah and my Christmas one all in a matter of two weeks. He stayed for three so we could "test" living together. We laughed, sang, and spent most of our evening at home enjoying each others company. We didn't do many "exciting" things during his trip to the Midwest, but I look upon the memories with nothing but happiness. I enjoyed every moment of just lying in bed together and watching movies.

He was always such a wonderful fella. From the time we decided things might be really real, he always asked about my daughter. Woke up with her during her trips and changed her diapers when he knew I needed nothing more than sleep (even when he needed it too). I knew he was special. We talked about living together, even if the possibility was over a year away.

We talked, We planned, we decided on April. Things weren't easy from the time my lease went up in February to the time he arrived mid-April. We stayed with parents and friends. We never really had a cozy bed to sleep on or proper toys in any given place. We made it though.

Danny arrive April 20th. We stayed with my parents to provide him a "good" nights sleep. We left town April 21st for our final destination to start our lives together. I really thought, if anything, spending four days non stop with someone in a confined space would drive me to see the things that drove me insane about them. Alas, that wasn't the case. The trip was long, but it drove me only to see my affections more. We arrived in my new home in California on April 24th.

Since arriving, things have been nothing less than perfect. My daughter and I get to visit the park (nearly) daily. We enjoy smoothies, palm trees, and occasional trips to the beach. At night, I get to enjoy new moving, well-needed cuddles and kisses. It's hard to imagine being this happy, but here I am. I'm with the fella I could see a real future with, I'm in a state I never even believed I'd be able to visit, and I'm starting a life. I really couldn't ask for anything more.

Family Photos.

I'm going to venture a bit into myself, again today. After this, I should be getting back on track. I'm going to show you a photo of the last time my family was all together and then show and tell where we are now.

Here is the full side of my mother's family four years ago. We all got together for Thanksgiving. This is the last time we were all together. We have all gone very different ways since then and ended up in different places. At this time, I would have never believed we would all be here in four years. We've also had a couple new additions to the family.

I'll start with me. I was 16 at the time, still living at my mom's house. Sixteen is a rough time for any girl. Naturally, I pretty well hated being around any of my family and I just didn't want to be there. Now, I only wish we could all be together again for one last huzz-ah! I know that my family is all kind of crazy around eachother, but I definitely think it'd be interesting.

Here's where I am now. 

This was my 20th birthday. I've got the same old friends and a great new boyfriend. Well, he's not really new, but he certainly wasn't around when I was 16. I'm living in an apartment with him and now I have to pay the bills and be responsible for myself. When I was 16, I don't think I believed this time would ever come. Now that I think about it, that snuck up on me pretty quickly. I have a really good time with life, though. I enjoy living every day wondering what is going to happen next. It's definitely an experience. I wouldn't trade anyone I have no for the world. They're all wonderful.


My Momma and Patrick and their +1

On September 14th, we received a new edition to the family. Little Miss Brylee Faye. When I was sixteen, I don't believe me or my mother thought that in just a few years I would have a little sister. It definitely came as a surprise, but I love that little booger. She's as sweet as can be and seems to have grown more every time I see her. Mom and Patrick live in Potosi now, so it's hard to keep tabs on them and see them often. I definitely love it every time I get to go see them though. Since I moved out on my own when I was 18, I've definitely grown a whole new appreciation for my mother. I realize in what ways I act like her and that I even look very similar to her (which I always denied before). She really is a terrific person and I love her so very much.

My Aunt added a +1 to the family as well. While she was living in Korea, she met a nice chinese fella that lived in Canada. They got married and she ended up pregnant. She is now a mother to a beautiful baby boy by the name of Liam. Four years ago, I believed my Aunt would never have children, simply that she would wander the Earth traveling and getting into all sorts of mischief. Now she's settled down in Canada living the adventure of parenthood.

My Uncle Carl (the redhead) and Grandma are now living in the city with my Aunt Karen.

My other Uncle, Jesse, is...with some girl, I think. I'm not sure. I make it a point to not speak to him.

In any case, my family has gone their separate ways. We're all doing our own thing living our own lives. I'm not sure how family always seem to make it together for the Holidays. It seems impossible when you've got so much going on in your own life. Then there's the issue of actually traveling, getting off work, and doing all sorts of planning. I will be attending my mother's for Christmas, but I'm not sure how much of the rest of my family will make it. I know in a few years, I won't be able to make it to see my mother for Christmas, either. I will be out of state. I will be just like the rest of my family, sadly unable to make it to Christmas dinner.

We shall see.

To my old friends, current family, and future self.

It's 4:30am. whoa! wait a minute! It's 4:30am? I was supposed to pass out like 3 and a half hours ago. Hopefully work doesn't try to call me in before noon because I'll be sleeping like a rock.

Anyway, I've been really wrapped up in my own life lately that I forgot to take a step back and look at everyone else's. I really miss...all the memories I have. I really want to talk about a few of them and maybe just get some things off of my chest.

To my very best middle school friends: I'm so sorry we drifted apart. We used to be inseperable. I thought we always would be. You guys always kept tabs on eachother, you guys stayed close because God kept you close. I'm sorry I left in such a rush and I'm sorry that I've probably let down all the dreams of fun things we would do together.

To my family: I don't know what anyone thinks of me anymore, but I want everyone to know that I wouldn't a single thing back.

To me:

Things are really chaotic. Every day is a struggle, but I know you'll make it through. You went through a perdiod of always saying that: "I'll figure it out." The funny thing was, when you started saying that, you always did figure some sort of solution out. I hope thats how you work things out right now. You'll figure it out. Things won't be easy for quite awhile, now. You really have no idea what is going to happen or how things are going to happen, but the most you can do is hope for the best and take things as they come. Don't give up.

(I'm going to recieve this e-mail on September 1st: Charles' birthday via http://www.futureme.org/ )