Wednesday, June 22, 2011

This house is not a home--at least not without you.

I've been thinking alot about the things I own lately.

Monks don't even worry about material possessions. Renunciation of material possessions is one of the most essential aspects of monastic life in all traditions, eastern and western, primitive and recent.

My first car: Marla.

I had so many good times with Marla. The first time I got pulled over was in that car, about a year ago actually. I went to Illinois in that car with my boyfriend and two good friends. We met a hippie and spent the night in his apartment watching old cartoons. I had the summer of my life in that car. I had two friends climbing on the hood while I was going 55 down a Terre du lac road making a beer run for some friends. I took every-weekend trips to Elephant Rocks and Johnson Shut-ins. We called her by name and I thought she'd be with me for a long while. Unfortunately, I took her to her end and she was never seen again. I miss her and all the memories I had with her.

My first apartment, our first apartment.

Charles and I moved into our first apartment on February 8, 2011. 1 year and 3 days after we first kissed. We had a ton of fun here. It was nice to have our own livingroom with all my drawings hanging on the walls and his swords in our bedroom. It was wonderful to have our space that no one could touch if we said so. Charles is gone now, and our apartment may be soon as well. Everything we had here will disappear in its memory.

My parents won't take me in. My almost back-up home was offered then taken back, so this may be me next.

Ironic that Charles and I spoke about being homeless the last night we were together. We talked about how homeless people should sleep in tunnel slides. We talked about what it would be like to homeless together. I told him it wouldn't be so bad as long as I was with him.

Alot of things have changed since then and I won't get that luxury.
I hope he knows how much i love him.

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