I Used to Sing

I was on the search for a paintable treasure chest I bought from Wal-Mart a few months ago. Our room is a mess, so it was next to impossible to find (actually, it was impossible to find. I'm sure it will come up when we move out). I did come across something interesting, though.

A few months ago, my mother moved out of the house that I have known ever since the day I was born. Since she would be moving into a smaller place and no longer had time to store my possessions, I was forced to take all the things I wanted her to hold onto until I felt I could take care of them myself. Today, I came across this black leather notebook. When I opened it, it said "This notebook belongs to Charles Brandon Williams." After a few moments of pondering, I realized this was my ex-best friends boyfriend she had when she was 17 or so.

I continued flipping through. Although the notebook didn't have much in it, there were roughly three pages filled with titles of songs and their artists. All of these songs were bits and pieces from this time in my life: a very different time. 

I continued flipping through and realized there was very few other things written it, but I knew I needed to hear these songs again.

I began searching each of them on youtube and listening to them. As it turns out, several of them I still know every word to. 

Lance isn't home, so I belted my little lungs out.

When this one song came on...I was suddenly taken back. I sang along and nearly came to tears.

"It's going to take time

a whole lot of precious time

It's going to take patience and time

to do it right"

As the worlds soared out of my mouth, a memory came to me.

I remember singing these exact words to you.

I remember exactly the feeling I had at that moment.

I remember bobbing my head and that smirk you gave me.

You always gave me that same little smirk when I was doing some wacky thing.

It said "You are crazy, and I love you for that."

I look at myself now and realize that I only sing when I am alone.

Singing made me so happy.

When I was happy, I always sang.

When I heard a song I knew, I was never shy about it.

I belted out so confidently with the words I knew by heart.

Now, that isn't the case.

I wonder what else I have lost that makes me happy.

I hate that I don't sing anymore, but sadly I don't see it changing.

I don't want to yearn for the past.

I want to be dearly happy about now.

In a few years, now will be the time I miss.