Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Porn, Romantic Movies, and Unrealistic Expectations

I'm sure the title brought you into this one.
Men, you saw the word porn.
Ladies, you want to know what the hell I have to say about romance movies.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, here is the sum of what I want to cover in this blog today: Romantic movies set unrealistic expectations of what relationships should be like to women. Porn does the same to men with sex.

Let's cover porn first:
Porn sets unrealistic expectations for what men believe sex should be like.
Don't get me wrong, some women are porn stars to the T in some cases. Often in these cases, they are actual porn stars. More than likely just ametuar porn, but my guess is that they've been recording having sex on more than one occasion.
Different women like different things, but here are a lot of things that are in porn that not all that women do or like. I'm going to start my list from things women more likely do/like to things that are just rare as fuck (I'm just using my best judgement, I have no statistics on this one).

The most common thing women actually do during sex is moan. Yes, women moan during sex, but often times it is not nearly as exaggerated as much porn is unless the sex is really fucking mind-blowing fantastic. Sorry to break it to you, men, but every time you have sex, it is not going to be this mind-blowing sex they try to portray in pornography.

The second thing is girls pleasuring themselves while you watch. Sure, it can be hot to have someone watch, but more than likely, we just want you to do the work. Our arms just aren't long enough for that sort of thing. If you're in bed with us, naked, extremely turned on, and hard enough to fuck, we shouldn't be doing the work for ourselves all alone. You want it, work to get it.

Third of all, "Lock the cellar door, and baby, talk dirty to me" (If you don't know this song, shame on you. You obviously were never around anyone that played Guitar Hero nor have you ever listened to Poison). Talking dirty. Some women are really into this. I get the hype, but its not something that overpowers my sex life. In a poll, 12% of women stated to always want to "talk dirty" when doing the deed. Couldn't find any statistics on men, but I know the majority of them love the shit out of it.

Most porn plays a big role in how men think women should look when they are naked. This clearly creates unrealistic expectations of how women should have huge tits and a tiny waist. A very small percentage of women in the United States actually have this figure unless they have a serious order or are naturally tiny and happened to have a boob job.

Anal Sex. 31% of women admit to have had anal sex. There are no clear numbers of how many stated to "enjoy it" and do it often. Most women I know have never tried or at least won't admit they have. My stance on it: I have a vagina for a reason and I'd like you to use it.

Blowing your load all over her face? You really think she's into that? Let me tell you, more than likely, the answer is "Don't you dare fucking try." I don't know what you're little half baby sperm all up in my eyeballs, mouth, and getting my hair all sticky and stiff. That is in no way attractive to me.

So, as I stated before, I do believe porn gives unrealistic expectations of what sex should be for men.

Personally, I could see this leading to cheating, easily. This could be in two different forms.

Men texting women and asking them to send him nudes. These are simply to create his own pleasure, since he is not actually engaging with any sexual activity with the girl, but yes, i do consider it cheating and this is why. It is mentally cheating on someone. Men watch porn, that's fine. You're never going to see those girls in real life or have a face to face casual conversation with them. You will never see them laugh, cry, or probably see them do anything but have sex with other people that you don't know. When it is a woman that you know, even if you are only acquaintances, she is a woman that you have seen in the flesh and thought "Damn, she is hot. I wonder what is underneath those clothes." If there is any way that you can get in touch with her to call her up for a one night fling or are having conversations with her, she becomes very real. She becomes a threat to a relationship. She can easily become the demise of that relationship from that point onward.  I figure it worse if you're sending pictures back to the girl because you are exposing one of the only parts of you that your girlfriend/wife is supposed to see to another woman. You are taking one very important thing that actually declares you a "couple" apart from any lady friends that you may have or just lady acquaintances. You are taking that intimate part of your relationship and spreading it around to anyone that is willing to give you a good show in return. This destroys a lot of trust between two people and can ruin things in a heartbeat.

As far as physically cheating goes, that one is easy. That "fucking mind-blowing sex" that you were looking forward to after watching porn for all of those years isn't quite as mind-blowing as you thought it would be. This encourages men to want to branch out to women and see if the experience there is any better. This happens especially when the sex with the same partner begins to get old.

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Now, to the women (I believe this segment is going to be much shorter).
Ladies, how many romance movies have you watched in your lifetime?
I love the crap out of romance movies, but it's rare I actually get to sit down and watch them. I feel like I've seen half a million. So those of you girls who watch them at least once a week, you've got even more under your belt than I do. You know what? That shit is fucking with your psych.

The crazy thing about romantic movies and women is that they start us from birth. They started giving us these crazy, unrealistic expectations of this Prince Charming that was going to come sweep us off our feet and carry us away to Happily Ever After from BIRTH!

Think about it, ladies. Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs. Repunzel. Hercules. The Little Mermaid. Cinderella. These were all Disney movies we watched on repeat as children. In every single one, the woman is in distress for some reason or another and suddenly this man sweeps in out of nowhere and knows that she is the one that he has to spend the rest of her life with without even speaking to her. Nowhere in any of these movies is anything about things getting tough, having to work shit out, GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

Since then, we've moved to big girl movies. The men start to get to know the women. They have struggles. They always make it in the end, though.

Trust is, relationships don't make it in the end. In fact, did you know, statistics say that only one out of all of your relationships will actually last for the rest of your life (unless you're into the whole polygamy thing)?! Crazy, right? NO. It's not.

You are going to date many men in you're lifetime. The first one that you date will most likely not be the person you spend the rest of your life with. You have to go through many relationships that aren't exactly what you want to make sure you find someone that really is perfect for you.

Women stress out day and night whether the man they are with is "the one." The sweat over pity little details like the way he doesn't make big romantic gestures all the time, why he doesn't bring her flowers on the day of the month they got together every month (though that is really sweet), why he doesn't go around telling every one that says "Hello" to him that he's madly in love with you.

reality check! men don't do these things. There are very few hopeless romantic men out there. Usually, if you find one he's a big mush ball that cries a lot and can't stand up for himself.

Women focus too much on the lack of big, flashy romantic gestures and focus too little on well... the little things.

Remember how much he loves you when he cleans out the litter box when it was your turn. Remember how much he loves you when he does all of the dishes or cooks you breakfast while you're sleeping and wakes you up when it's finished. Remember how much he loves you when you take the last of the tea, but he makes more. Remember how much he loves you when he buys you Taco Bell because you were having a bad day or the silly things he comes up with to cheer you up when you're clearly down.

Men aren't these hard-ass hopeless romantics like Aladdin. They're not going to be obsessed with the same things you are and bail out on video games and dude friends just to be around you and you're lady friends all the time. He might grow a vagina if you put him up to those standards.

This can also lead women to cheating. This brings me back to my previous post "Why I hate Women (those big-titted slutty ass bitches)" about women trying to make cheating a personal thing. Women do this because of these romantic movies creating this idea that there is this strong, sweet-hearted, mushy-gushy man. Trying to get directly involved with the men, while men just want the sex and then want to get the hell out.
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Men are men, so quit treating them like they need to be just like the men in the movies. Men aren't the men you see in the romance movies just like women aren't the women you see in pornography.

It's just one big example of unrealistic expectations.
My suggestion: Men should probably start watching a little less porn and women should start watching fewer romance movies.
or maybe women should start watching more porn and men should start watching more romance movies. I'm not sure that second one will work. I'll have to get back to you on that one.



Don't forget to check out the Things to Consider Before Having Children.
Also, if you have any ideas that you would like me to blog about, e-mail me at xBeasel@yahoo.com

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