Thursday, November 24, 2011

Just do your best, Do everything you can

It's gonna get harder still, before it gets easy
You can't keep safe what wants to break.

Things are getting extremely hectic.

When Charles was arrested, my life was flipped upside-down. We had just lost the baby three weeks earlier, I had no job, we were trying to make the bills and he was ripped out of my life in a moment. I didn't think I would be able to make it through that time period for a long while. I had some great ass friends to help me pull through that. As time hsa passed, I've gotten used to living on my own. I've gotten used to paying the bills, having ramen for dinner everynight, staying up until 2 and 3am playing fable.

His next, and most likely, final courtdate is in two weeks. Two weeks. It's been five and a half months that I've been living on my own. Five and a half months I've been doing my own thing, paving my own way. I don't know what I'm going to do if he comes home. I'll be happy, don't get my wrong. Charles was my world before he was taken, but things will be so different. My world will be flipped around all over again. The apartment will seem so crowded with two people occupying it at all hours of the day and night. I'll have to take care of him again as far as driving him where he needs to go. I'll actually have to keep the apartment clean.

Will he love Herbert as much as I do? Will he be upset that I broke his phone? Will he be able to get used to the things that have changed in me? Will I be able to get used to the ways he's changed? Will we be able to live together and adjust to the new lifestyle?

For these answers, only time will tell.

No comments:

Post a Comment