Monday, June 20, 2011

Things I Need to Hear and Things I Need to Say

Things I Need to Hear

Some nice stranger bought me a pack of cigarettes. This last month has really brought me down. On March 28, God took my baby from me. Sorry to those of you who are offended by this statement, but I'm angry with him. He gave his son and took mine. Three days ago on May 17, my boyfriend and I were arrested. I was released on May 18, but his duration will be longer and not so kind. I'm too broke to pay rent, much less buy that cigarette I sincerely need right now.

The cops are not coming back for me. I can't help but look at every single cop I see and think "You ruined everything, I blame you." But everyone says, "Home is where the heart is." Well then, maybe its not so bad, because jail is my new home.
He won't fall out of love with me. Charles is going to be gone for awhile. It has been three days and I'm pretty sure I can literally feel my heart breaking in two. When people open our bedroom door, I have to yell at them and tell them to stay out. That's our space, DON'T TOUCH IT! I'm terribly afraid I won't be able to hold onto it long enough. He's going to be gone for at least three months and I need to hold on to every single little thing and hope to god things don't change so much he forgot why he loved me in the first place. Despite all the troubles, this year and a half has been the best of my life.

I won't be kicked out of my apartment. I've broken some rules, and with the huge disappointment I've been to my parents (and the fact that with a fugitive living there they would have no cop-out source of income) I'm only praying I won't be kicked out so I don't end up homeless with nothing at all to hold on to.

The World won't come tumbling down, because that is exactly what is happening right now.

Things I Need to Say

I'm so sick of girl's rambling on and on about how they "want to get their drink on." I'm so sick of people talking about how they're not white trash because they dress their kid in baby gap and hollister. They're going to grow out of that stuff, do your kid a favor and put that money toward their college fund instead. I'm sick of girls constantly bitches about how much they love their men. Good for you, keep it in your private life. What the hell would you do if social networking sites didn't exist? I'm sick of girls who constantly bitch about their boyfriends. If you're that unhappy, dump his ass. Frankly, i'm just sick of these everyday problems when i'm stuck living one day at a time when everything has been ripped away.

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