When I first heard this quote, I thought, "Yeah, that sounds legitimate." However, it's not until you live those words that you truly know the truth behind it.
There was a point where this quote defined my life. I know you all have heard it time and time again, but I'm going to recap for those who haven't.
In April last year, I quit my job because it was stressing me out to the point that I was nearly in tears each day when I came home.
Not even a week later, I found out I was pregnant.
I stopped talking to most people I knew because I was caught up in my pregnancy and where my life was going.
On May 28, God took my baby away from me and left me to suffer.
3 weeks later, to the day, the cops came busting down my door and Charles and I were arrested.
I was released after 24 hours, but Charles was not. He was in for a longer stay.
So in the middle of May, I was stuck with no child, no friends, no boyfriend, and no money.
I had lost everything.
I let this fact tear me up for weeks on end.
The very world around me had spun around and then came crashing down.
I looked around and threw myself a pity party, then began picking up the pieces.
I found myself an overnight job and I began getting back in touch with old friends and even getting some new ones.
Suddenly, I realized, no one had expectations from me any longer.
I had no one to consult before I left at 3am to go to a party.
Insomnia became my friend. No one was asking me for quality time.
I slept in between the times those I wanted to hang out with were available.
Sometimes only 3-5 hours a day, split up into two to three naps.
I woke up early and stayed up late.
I did things I wouldn't have dared to do before, because I knew there would be no one to criticize me for it.
When you have nothing to lose, you have the very definition of freedom.
In those 10 months:
I got 3 tattoos, pierced my nose, and got a pet rat.
I found a job and lost a job in a matter of five weeks.
I went back to my job I quite before I found out I was pregnant after another month or so of being jobless.
I mooched a lot of money and food.
People took care of me, because the way I was taking care of myself just didn't seem healthy.
I lived this way for 10 months and it was the craziest, most bizarre time in my life.
Once those 10 months were over, I had to get things back on track.
I couldn't live how I was forever or I would likely never amount to anything.
Looking back at me now, I'm not sure who I was.
I became this very raw version of myself and I'm not sure how she just escaped like that.
I liked her, though. I liked her a lot.
She was rebellious, daring, impulsive, someone anyone would like to be around.
I intend on turning this blog into a book someday, so I am posting a few photos here.
Photos of my very raw me to see what freedom really looks like.
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