Why Long Term Relationships Fail....

This feeling....

Doesn't last forever.

You hear everyone say that relationships aren't easy. However, when you first enter one, you would swear those people were lying to you. It's all roses and flowers. Sex and "I love you"'s. Dates and words of romance.

Listen to me when I say those things fade.

Being in a long-term relationship is hard. When I say hard, I actually mean to-the-bone, soul testing difficult. Eventually, you move in together. You talk more about chores and work than where you want to go with your life or the interests you have. You get caught in this loop of dependency and under-appreciation. It's not pretty, folks.

"where is your heart? Because I don't really feel you."

I've been pretty down about things recently if you haven't noticed through my blog and face book posts. I've been falling into a familiar old place and I don't like where it's taking me. I took this opportunity to get extremely drunk and have "girl talk" with a good friend of mine, Miss Mary.

She's been with her boyfriend 4 or 5 years and she can relate a lot to what I needed to say.

In our good hour of talking about insecurities of relationships and the firey blaze dying into a single constant flame, I took one thing she said to me straight to heart. Since that night, it's been replaying in my head.

"Men need to feel loved too. They need that reassurance."

Men don't act as though they do, but this is the truth. Men need to be reminded just as much as us women that they are wanted, both mentally and physically. This is probably the biggest problem in relationships. When you become serious with someone, you take on a certain responsibility in their life. You are making a promise to be there to listen to stories about their terrible day at work, to share in daily chores, and be an active part of their life. A lot of times, this role can being to be taken for granted. Once you're used to your partner being around each day, you forget how lonely it was before they arrived. This is no excuse, however, you stop giving him the attention he needs and deserves from you.

When men, or women, feel as though they aren't getting the attention they need, they do just as children do. They act out. Most definitely not in the same ways that children do, but in a way that is generally very harmful to the relationship they are in. They begin reaching out to others for that attention they need. Friends and family usually don't make the cut because they've been receiving the same amount of attention from them for years. Instead, they generally reach out to the opposite sex. They want to get that feeling that someone needs to talk to them each day and actually hear what they have to say. By refusing to give your significant other the attention they deserve, you're doing your part in driving them further and further away.

As far as how to give this attention to men...besides "I love you" and making sure he's getting laid regularly, well, I'm still working on that. Leave some comments if you've got any advice there.

As far as making your special lady feel as though you still appreciate her.
-Maybe buy her flowers once a month...like the day you got together(So, if you got together May 26, buy her flowers or even just a flower on the 26th of each month).
-Remember to always tell her she's beautiful.
-Kiss her for a long time without expectations of sex. or at least kiss her more once you've had sex.
-Give her reasons why you love her, don't just say it. Ex: I love you because of the way your hair smells when you get out of the shower.
-Take photographs with her to let her look back on all the wonderful years you've spent together with clearer vision.

Again, leave comments and let me know if you can think of any more.
If I can get enough advice, I might do another post purely on how to appreciate your significant other.

Failure

Today was a really awful day.
First of all, I had somewhat of a mental breakdown at work.
It was not pretty.


I brought it upon myself.
It's just been like everything has been piling up and today it finally came crashing down.
I'm terrified of failing at this job.


Working at Hunts is really the only thing I've ever been good at.

I almost didn't graduate high school.
I've failed at every relationship but one (so far).
I've been a terrible friend in one way or another at some point.
I failed at trying to improve with my art.
I failed at pursuing photography.
I never went to college.
I couldn't even keep my child alive.

I've given up on so much because I feel as though I can never be good enough.


I don't want this to be just another thing I fail at.

Things To Consider Before Having Children

Today, I'm going to talk about things you should consider before having a child. Now that I've been out of school for two years, it seems all my friends are going off, getting married, and having children. Babies are very exciting and all, but many of them I don't believe are ready for children and I know that these children were planned. So here I am, blogging about things to consider before trying to have a child.



Having a child is a huge responsibility. A child is not something that you can keep for a few months or even for just a few years and then get rid of or pawn off on someone else like people do pets. I think most people who have children only see the cute sweet part of babies and don't look into the difficulties of parenting.

First of all, have you experienced all of the life that you want to or that you okay without experience for the next eighteen years?
As I said previously, Having a child is a commitment. Once that baby gets here, he or she is to be your main priority. You need to be willing to put all of that baby's wants and needs above yours.Once the baby gets here, you won't be able to take that trip to Paris you've always wanted to anytime soon. Once the baby gets here, you won't even be able to go to the grocery store in the winter without making sure your child is all layered up and getting him in and out of the car seat at each stop.

Who are you having this child with?
The obvious answer is probably your spouse, but think further into it. Is this person going to wake up at 3 am to feed the baby, too? Are you going to have to do it all the time? Is s/he going to change share responsibilities of changing and bathing your child?

Have you ever experienced having a baby before?
Many people only see the good in children. They're adorable. They look just like you. They're also a lot of work. They need to be watched constantly. They have to be taken everywhere, even to that nice restaurant lunch. They need to be fed, changed, and watched to make sure they're not throwing up or nothing is going wrong. They need a lot attention and love.

Have you considered multiples, Disabilities, etc.?
Maybe so far you've thought, "that's fine" or "I'm good with this list, I think I'm ready." Here's a new thing to consider. What is you have two or three? Oh shit! This generally happens when there are multiples in your family, but take it into consideration. You can't just kill one off if you only want one. Also, consider disabilities. I know I personally have a disease that runs in my family that my dad and his brother and sister died from. We believe it skips a generation. If I ever have a child, s/he could have this disease and have a lot of physical problems in life...I would also more than likely outlive my child. This is something I have to take into serious consideration before I have children. Be prepared if you may have multiples or a child with physical or mental disabilities. If you don't believe you can handle those possibilities, you're not ready to have children.

Do you have the support of family and friends?
This may not seem like a big deal, but it is. Having a baby is tough work and without people to support you it can become a very stressful situation. After a few weeks of having a newborn and realizing that your child will not let you sleep more than 2 hours a night, you're going to need a break. Supporting family and friends will often take your child off your hands for a few hours so that you can have a nice lunch without a screaming child or can actually get a few hours of sleep. Also, support causes the situation to be much less stressful for you and your child.

Location, Location!
Have you thought about where you live? Location is extremely important when you have a child. Are there good day cares in the area? Is the school one that you want your child growing up in or is it known for violence and drugs? Is the area safe enough to let your child play out in the yard? Seriously consider where you are living before having a child. More than likely, once the baby comes, you won't be moving anytime soon.

Do you have your career on the roll or are you still working towards it?
Careers are not easy with babies. If you don't already have your college done and a job already lined up, things are going to get a whole lot harder with a child. Being a full time mom is hard enough, but being a full time mom with a full time job and still trying to get her career worked out is next to impossible.

Have you decided how many or how far apart?
More than likely if you want children, you've thought of how many you want. Maybe you want a boy first and then you want to have a girl two years later so that the boy can kick the butts of the boyfriends that hurt her. You have to think carefully about this because once you start having children, you have to be prepared one when you're going to try to have your next one and whether you will be ready for it. Having children far apart can be even more stressful. If you have children 5 years apart, one will be in school needing help with homework and the other will be a newborn needing constant care.

Can you afford it?
Children are costly. Diapers aren't cheap and it's another mouth to feed. You also have to take into consideration that you will have to set back money for clothes, school supplies, a college fund, and eventually a care.

Can you cook?
Cooking is an essential part of having children. It may be cheaper now to go out and eat everyday or maybe you just make Mac N Cheese for dinner like we do. When a child comes into the picture, you have to actually cook. Children need to be healthy and it's expensive to take a child out to eat for every meal.

Have you and your partner discussed your goals and how you are going to read them?
When having a child, it's important to be on the same page as your partner. You're not the only one with dreams. Has s/he done what s/he wants to in life before having children? Make sure. If one of you wants a child and one of you wants to pursue a goal and you have a child, it can lead to resentment.

Do you both know how to raise a child and respect each other as parents?
You don't want to have one of those relationships where the child can come to mom about something and she says no and then the child runs to dad and he says yes. This will cause a lot of fights for parents and in the end, more stress for the child. There needs to be clear communication and lines. You need to sit and talk about your views on parenting before you actually have to be parents.

Would you be able to raise a child on your own?
Anything can happen. When I was two years old, my dad died. He had that disease I spoke of earlier, but he was only 22. No one expected him to die, no one saw it coming more than a few weeks before. You need to make sure that you would be able to raise this child on your own if anything were to happen before you jump into having a kid.

Have you addressed the issue of life insurance, etc?
Although life insurance before children is a luxury, after is a necessity. It's part of your responsibility to make sure that if anything happens to you that your children are taken care of.

Having children may seem like an easy thing to do, but it's not. All of these things are things that need serious consideration before you decide to even think about having children. Even missing just one can lead to disaster. So here's your guide list, folks.

follow it.


Children are expensive, so make sure to take a gander at Pros and Cons of Getting a Credit Card.

Why I hate Women (those big-titted slutty ass bitches)

Just so we're clear, the title has no specific lady in mind.

I just really hate women.


I was watching an episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia the other night where Sweet Dee gets involved with a married man and it got me wondering if married women or married men cheat more. I got to looking online and came across this. For those of you who are too weary to actually click the link in fear of what it could actually be (It could be a porn site that is going to spam your computer for all you know), or for those who are just too damn lazy to care what it goes to, here's the basics.


or...if you just want to skip this part, (although it's a good read, you may learn a few things) just jump past the big line.


-Females generally cheat because they are unhappy with the relationship. Many men who love their partners and have great sex at home never turn down an opportunity for a bit on the side if they think they can get away with it. In one study, 56% of cheating men surveyed said their marriages were very happy. Only 34% of unfaithful women agreed.


- Men cheat more than women. Nope, actually that's a lie. This used to be the case, but now the infidelity scales are balancing out. Why? Women cheat for the same reasons as men: It's someone new. It's naughty (and therefore nice). However, there are other reasons women cite: The affair was a "reward" for being an unappreciated wife and mother or for putting up with a partner who wasn't affectionate, didn't listen or ignored them. It was an "ego boost." I can definitely see this. A woman who feels unappreciated is dangerous. She can be reckless. A danger to herself and everyone surrounding her. Women let those things boil inside until they finally explode destroying everyone and everything in their path.


-Women have this belief that men want to turn their female friends into affairs. It's lies! Lies, ladies. Do you hear me? Am I speaking LOUD and CLEAR? Men don't want to turn these women into their one night flings. This would make things awkward. This would be an opportunity for her to have the same friends as you, know your friends, or know you. She's more likely to spill the beans. Plus, when a man has an affair, he's not in it for the feelings of love and fantasy. Like I said before, they're happy with their wives. This is just a taste for excitement. Women on the other hand, want to turn their affairs into this lovey, dovey reality. They want to turn them into this fantasy that she is no longer to create with her husband because she already knows him inside and out.





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Women are extremely difficult. I think I mostly hate women because of men.






Women con men into cheating because it's an easy lay and I'm pretty sure there are some statistics somewhere saying that it's a lot easier for women to get laid than men.






Women do these cute, adorable things with their bodies. Men, you know what I'm talking about. Women, I'm sure you do too, probably because you've done it. Do you ever see those girls that you immediately see and think "She is just irresistible " She's seems kind of classy. The way she bats her eyelashes, the way she moves her head, the way her hips swing, just the way she moves. Something about her screams, "Talk to me, I'm worth your time." She usually talks first. If this is the case, she's probably bat shit crazy.






These are the girls I'm interested in. Guess what I learned about them? They're all fucking sluts. Every girl I've ever been attracted to is a fucking slut. It's just the way she moves. The way she seems fearless when put against the world. She's not really fearless, but you won't see that until you're too close to make an easy escape.






Turns out, a lot of men are attracted to these women. It makes sense. They're gorgeous. They take the time to do their make-up and hair every morning and make it look effortless. They don't dress in trashy clothing and in the way she talks you can tell there is a very dirty girl underneath. These are the girls that attract men. These are the girls that attract women. These are the girls that attract me. These girls are what i want, as well as my enemies.






This is why I have given up on the idea of ever dating a lady.






They're dirty, conniving liars. The worst part? They're really good at it.






Here's the part where I'm going to get into myself for a minute, so again, if you'd like to pass up on this part just hop past the big line (I wouldn't blame you on this one).






I don't want to have to be that girl, everyday. I'm lazy as fuck. I work in a ginormous center of people. 600 people, maybe? Every once in awhile, I'll go out of my way to pretty up because I wake up in the morning and think "I want to look nice today." However, 9 days out of 10, this is not how I feel. I see the same people every day. I have no urge to impress these people every day of my life or really at all for that matter. I like to look nice for my boyfriend, but it's not something I want to do every morning. I don't want to be the girl who has to wake up 4 hours before work to spend 3 hours curling my hair and putting on make-up. I want to be the girl who can be ready in 10 minutes or less. The one who is ready and up for an adventure in no time and doesn't have to look nice to do so. I don't want to look the prettiest I possibly can every single day or the days that I do go out of my way to look pretty wouldn't be anything special. I'd look the same as I do every single day. Say I even spent 1 hour out of every day getting ready for the next year. We'll even cut out one day out of the week for "I'm staying at home all day" and "sick days." That's 312 hours. 13 WHOLE days. Do you know what I could do with thirteen days of my life instead of getting all prettied up in front of the mirror for people who won't remember me or even care who I was in a year? ALOT OF SHIT. That's almost 2 weeks of my life that would be taken out of my life in just one year.






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Actually, I think that is the end of my spiel tonight. I may have another update on this later. Keep in touch and you'll find out.

Don't forget to check out my views on Porn, Romantic Movies, and Unrealistic Expectations.