Having a child is a huge responsibility. A child is not something that you can keep for a few months or even for just a few years and then get rid of or pawn off on someone else like people do pets. I think most people who have children only see the cute sweet part of babies and don't look into the difficulties of parenting.
First of all, have you experienced all of the life that you want to or that you okay without experience for the next eighteen years?
As I said previously, Having a child is a commitment. Once that baby gets here, he or she is to be your main priority. You need to be willing to put all of that baby's wants and needs above yours.Once the baby gets here, you won't be able to take that trip to Paris you've always wanted to anytime soon. Once the baby gets here, you won't even be able to go to the grocery store in the winter without making sure your child is all layered up and getting him in and out of the car seat at each stop.
Who are you having this child with?
The obvious answer is probably your spouse, but think further into it. Is this person going to wake up at 3 am to feed the baby, too? Are you going to have to do it all the time? Is s/he going to change share responsibilities of changing and bathing your child?
Have you ever experienced having a baby before?
Many people only see the good in children. They're adorable. They look just like you. They're also a lot of work. They need to be watched constantly. They have to be taken everywhere, even to that nice restaurant lunch. They need to be fed, changed, and watched to make sure they're not throwing up or nothing is going wrong. They need a lot attention and love.
Have you considered multiples, Disabilities, etc.?
Maybe so far you've thought, "that's fine" or "I'm good with this list, I think I'm ready." Here's a new thing to consider. What is you have two or three? Oh shit! This generally happens when there are multiples in your family, but take it into consideration. You can't just kill one off if you only want one. Also, consider disabilities. I know I personally have a disease that runs in my family that my dad and his brother and sister died from. We believe it skips a generation. If I ever have a child, s/he could have this disease and have a lot of physical problems in life...I would also more than likely outlive my child. This is something I have to take into serious consideration before I have children. Be prepared if you may have multiples or a child with physical or mental disabilities. If you don't believe you can handle those possibilities, you're not ready to have children.
Do you have the support of family and friends?
This may not seem like a big deal, but it is. Having a baby is tough work and without people to support you it can become a very stressful situation. After a few weeks of having a newborn and realizing that your child will not let you sleep more than 2 hours a night, you're going to need a break. Supporting family and friends will often take your child off your hands for a few hours so that you can have a nice lunch without a screaming child or can actually get a few hours of sleep. Also, support causes the situation to be much less stressful for you and your child.
Location, Location!
Have you thought about where you live? Location is extremely important when you have a child. Are there good day cares in the area? Is the school one that you want your child growing up in or is it known for violence and drugs? Is the area safe enough to let your child play out in the yard? Seriously consider where you are living before having a child. More than likely, once the baby comes, you won't be moving anytime soon.
Do you have your career on the roll or are you still working towards it?
Careers are not easy with babies. If you don't already have your college done and a job already lined up, things are going to get a whole lot harder with a child. Being a full time mom is hard enough, but being a full time mom with a full time job and still trying to get her career worked out is next to impossible.
Have you decided how many or how far apart?
More than likely if you want children, you've thought of how many you want. Maybe you want a boy first and then you want to have a girl two years later so that the boy can kick the butts of the boyfriends that hurt her. You have to think carefully about this because once you start having children, you have to be prepared one when you're going to try to have your next one and whether you will be ready for it. Having children far apart can be even more stressful. If you have children 5 years apart, one will be in school needing help with homework and the other will be a newborn needing constant care.
Can you afford it?
Children are costly. Diapers aren't cheap and it's another mouth to feed. You also have to take into consideration that you will have to set back money for clothes, school supplies, a college fund, and eventually a care.
Can you cook?
Cooking is an essential part of having children. It may be cheaper now to go out and eat everyday or maybe you just make Mac N Cheese for dinner like we do. When a child comes into the picture, you have to actually cook. Children need to be healthy and it's expensive to take a child out to eat for every meal.
Have you and your partner discussed your goals and how you are going to read them?
When having a child, it's important to be on the same page as your partner. You're not the only one with dreams. Has s/he done what s/he wants to in life before having children? Make sure. If one of you wants a child and one of you wants to pursue a goal and you have a child, it can lead to resentment.
Do you both know how to raise a child and respect each other as parents?
You don't want to have one of those relationships where the child can come to mom about something and she says no and then the child runs to dad and he says yes. This will cause a lot of fights for parents and in the end, more stress for the child. There needs to be clear communication and lines. You need to sit and talk about your views on parenting before you actually have to be parents.
Would you be able to raise a child on your own?
Anything can happen. When I was two years old, my dad died. He had that disease I spoke of earlier, but he was only 22. No one expected him to die, no one saw it coming more than a few weeks before. You need to make sure that you would be able to raise this child on your own if anything were to happen before you jump into having a kid.
Have you addressed the issue of life insurance, etc?
Although life insurance before children is a luxury, after is a necessity. It's part of your responsibility to make sure that if anything happens to you that your children are taken care of.
Having children may seem like an easy thing to do, but it's not. All of these things are things that need serious consideration before you decide to even think about having children. Even missing just one can lead to disaster. So here's your guide list, folks.
follow it.
Children are expensive, so make sure to take a gander at Pros and Cons of Getting a Credit Card.
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