Becoming An Adult

Becoming an adult is a really weird thing...

I feel like I've taken a few different steps in my life in these past two years that really made me feel "older." Now, I feel like I'm entering actually "adulthood," and frankly it's starting to scare the hell out of me.

1. I started driving and my mom didn't ask me where I was going or how long I'd be gone. This happened the summer I was 17. I tested it out first. First, just leaving to go to the store, then to a friends, then I'd stay out all night and half of the next day. When she stopped asking questions, I began to feel responsible for myself.

2. I moved out! When I moved out, I really felt like I was getting older. I hadn't quite graduated high school, but i was in college and I had already been 18 for 4 months. Moving out was a big decision and a difficult thing to do. Paying bills meant no more choice of having a job or not. Having the choice to pay bills or being homeless will make you grow up real quick.

3. Getting Pregnant. When you're pregnant, you become responsible for two people instead of just one. When I first found out I was pregnant, I refused to tell my mom. This meant that I had to go get it confirmed with one of my dearest friends. This meant I had to deal with getting pregnancy insurance by myself. Charles went with me to hospital visits, but I lacked anyone that had personal experience with being pregnant.

4. Graduating High School. All of these things occured before I graduated high school. I didn't think doing that would feel like such an impact, but it really did. I feel like an all different kind of person now that I stay up all night and sleep all day to keep up with work instead of school.

5. Sitting with the Adults. When you sit with the adults and talk about how psycho teenagers are instead of hanging out with the teenagers.

6. When the parents say they got rid of you and then you came back. It's funny when you move out because you can't stand your parents and then you really start to miss them. I think I spend more time at my mom's now than I ever did when I actually lived there. My mom and I have long conversations and we play cards and talk about kids. I go over there for dinner and we have a pretty good time. I think some of this is due to the fact that I don't have Charles to listen to everything I say anymore, too.