A year after graduating, I thought I really had things figured out. I was already living in my second apartment with a very special fella, and although I was getting paid minimum wage at a fast food joint, I was working 60 hours a week, so the money added up. I wasn't going to college as I had intended, but I was working on getting myself figured out first. I felt like I was really pulling ahead at that time. I could mostly afford the nice things I wanted, I had a steady job and paycheck, and I lived in my own place. It seemed like just about every one else I knew from school who didn't quite make it to the college route were still living at home, most of them "in between jobs" most of the year.
I felt like, for 19 years old, I had things pretty well figured out. Nearly two years later, being 21 years old, I realize things are a little bit different.
I've been adding a lot more people I knew from high school on Facebook lately and I'm always shocked when I see their profile. I'm seeing now that of those that didn't go to college, about 30% of them are now married even more than that now have children. Hell, some of them are even on their second or third child. This blows my freakin' mind. How in the three years since high school have you found the love of your life (as I know most of these people weren't dating their husbands/wives before we graduated), plan a wedding, and pop out a couple of kids within a matter of three years?
Granted, when I was a young teen, this is how I saw my life going. I swore I'd meet the love of my life in high school, we'd get married when I was 21 and then settle down and have a couple of kids in our mid 20's. Keep in mind, this was when I was a young teen.
Since then, I've grown up a lot and my mind set is completely different. I was lucky enough to find the man of my dreams as a teen. By that, I mean nineteen. He wasn't my high school boyfriend. We didn't meet at the concert of a mutual favorite band and I didn't know he would be the man I would marry the night I met him. We met at a party of a mutual friend and we just started talking like normal human beings until it turned into something more. 
Now, we're engaged, living in our second apartment with our two lovely cats. However, we're not getting married within the next year. We're definitely not popping out any babies any time soon. We've decided that the other is the person is the one we want to spend the rest of our life with, but we're in no rush to get it down on paper just to prove it to everyone else. We're happy campers right now. We're going to pay off our personal debts, go back to college, leave state for a few years and have as many adventures in as many new places as we can. 
At 21 years old, I consider this personal success. If I had my child at 19 years old, I'd be the mother of two year old right now. I would not have gone to the parties I've gone to, met the people I've met, or been part of all the adventures I've been on in the last three years. In the next three years, I don't want to have children. I want to enjoy being an adult and living my own life, not being responsible for someone else's. I want to be able to go out on Friday and/or Saturday nights without having to find a sitter or feel guilty about not spending all my free time with my child. I want to go on last minute road trips. I want to go camping for three days at a time and go to the concerts of my favorite bands. I don't want to be tied down to one place or one way of living. My life is just beginning, I can't imagine having to put it on the back burner right now.
I do want to say that I'm not really bashing on those of you who married young, had your children, and are content with staying in one place and watching your children grow up. To each their own, you know? Sometimes the situation is out of your hands and you have to make the best of it.
I'm just happy to be where I am. In the last two years I have found myself a job that pays well, moved in to a lovely two-bedroom apartment, lost 50 lbs, had a meet and greet with my favorite band of all time, picked up disc golf, went to my first rave and strip club, and got engaged. If I had settled down with my high school boyfriend and had children, none of those things would have happened to me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is...It's strange to see how all of the people I went to high school with are growing up compared to myself. We were all thrown out there into adulthood after high school and it's just really interesting to see how everyone is handling it.
I agree. I feel like adulthood is coming at me fast. I'm graduating from college in a month. Getting married this summer. Going to graduate school this fall.
ReplyDeleteIt's certainly not what I had always planned, but at the same time, I know that it's right for me. I think each of us are growing up in the way that makes the most sense to us. Finding our own way. Comparing ourselves to each other isn't the right way to go about it...as long as you are comfortable with where you are and where you're headed, I think you're doing well. =)
PS. We're not ready for kids, either. We're planning to wait until after school and out of debt and everything. I should be around 30 by the time that happens, which is fine by me.