The Only Constant is Change

"The Only Constant is Change."

I've been thinking, today. I realize, right now, I'm probably the person with the most constant in my life right now. I've got a long-term boyfriend, a home of my own, a job I'm comfortable at, and a generally stable life.

The thing is....I know it won't last long. Not necessarily the stability, but how I see things right now. Everything is constantly changing and I don't even realize it.

When Lance and I were partying with Ronnie and Kasey or Derek and Mary every weekend, it was constant. We never missed a weekend. We always did the same things and had really great times. I took it for granted because I thought it would last forever. It didn't. Kasey got pregnant and winter came along destroying every one's party spirit.

I remember when Lance used to come over to my old apartment. We would walk around town for hours on end. We'd finally settle down at 3 or 4 am and watch Netflix. I never thought those days were going to end, but alas, they did.

I used to think that Charles and I would always be together. I felt as though we would continue going to college and doing the same crazy things with our friends every day for the rest of our lives. We did it everyday, it was expected. That changed too.

Things keep changing and they're completely different before you even know what hit you.

Even where I think I'm going never turns out anything like I expect.

Where I thought I would be now:

-When I was 13, I thought I would be dating someone I went to church with and in a four year college (minimum), living in the dorms.
-When I was 14, I thought I'd be some forever tortured soul that would at least be in college, probably not with anyone, just trying to get my shit straight, also, living in dorms.
-When I was 15, drinking with the same friends I had that year, probably living in dorms, but home in the summer. I'd be a math teacher.
-When I was 16, thought I would be engaged, in love, in beauty school.
-When I was 17, thought I would be one cool-ass burnout.
-When I was 18, I thought I would be the parent of a one year old baby. Living with Charles. Soon to be married. I figured my mother would be excited the new child in the family.
When I was 19, I thought I'd be in Festus going to beauty school, making something of life.

Where I actually am...no college. living on my own. great boyfriend. not engaged. not married. no baby.

Turns out past me was really bad at predicting the future.
I know before I know it I'll be in and out of college.
I'll be engaged, then married, then have a family.
Then I'll  be old, with grandchildren, and a book's worth of stories.

In any case, I'm going to show some old ass pictures of me, now.



In three years, I just want to be this girl.