I had a strange dream last night. I've been having strange dreams these past two weeks, but this was different. All of my other dreams have made at least a little bit of sense without looking into them. I've had dreams about Charles leaving me. I've had dreams where the cops came back for me, where i was sitting in jail. I've had dreams that I gave into smoking again. I've had dreams that the cops caught me smoking again. I've had dreams about having crazy parties and getting caught. Everything...everything up until now has made at least a little bit of sense. Definitely not things that would likely happen, but still things that made at least a little sense for the situation I'm currently in.
Last night, I had a dream though. It was so bizarre. I went and bought 4 grams of pot because I was going to smoke that and be done. I went...somewhere out in the country. I couldn't tell you exactly where, but I fell asleep on the kitchen floor there. I woke up and one of my shoes was gone. I already knew someone had taken it. I walked outside and some chick (I originally typed bitch, and I usually only use the term "some bitch" when it's someone I really despise. One person comes to mind, but using names isn't nice and that girl wasn't the girl in my dream) had my shoe. One strange thing about this is that it wasn't a shoe I have ever worn...I couldn't even tell you what kind of shoe it was, just that they were red high tops. I'm not sure why her taking my shoe made me so very angry, but it did. Her and Adam hopped into a truck and ran off.
I'm not sure how I found them after that, but I did. They were at the home of the teacher I used to cadet teach for. His kids were there, but for some reason I just didn't care. That bitch was there, and I was furious that she had taken my shoe while I was sleeping (when I woke, I realized I never once gave a shit whether someone had taken my pot while I was sleeping). Her and I duked it out. I got in some damn good punches and so did she. I remember pinning her up against a wall and just beating the shit out of her. I remember bashing her in the face and her falling to the ground, too. I don't remember her hitting me at all, but I know she did. In fact, I remember it being a pretty even fight. I'm not really even sure who won. I don't know if the dream just ended or if my alarm clock ruined the ending.
In any case, when I woke up, I couldn't quit thinking about it. I'm not a violent person, nor have I ever been. I've never been in a fight and I can only think of two situations where I've even been close to that angry and they were both very serious situations. I couldn't get past that. It stood out to me that I was so pissed at this chick for taking my shoe. I'm still not sure if I completely buy into this "dream meaning" thing, but when I look things up, they seem to fit. Then again, it's not hard to make things fit, like daily zodiac stuff. Dreams may be a little different. Anyway, when I got on http://www.dreamoods.com/, I searched for shoe. I didn't find anything too specific, but this is the closest I could find.
In general, shoes represent your approach to life. Wearing shoes in your dream, suggests that you are well-grounded or down to earth.It also represents your convictions about your beliefs. If you are changing your shoes, then it refers to your changing roles. You are taking a new approach to life.
Obviously, my approach to life has changed a good bit. I wanted to move out on my own and make it with someone, even if it was a friend. I didn't want to live alone. Being alone scares the living hell out of me, usually. Sometimes, I wish I still lived with my mom now that Charles is gone. As for being well grounded, maybe one of my shoes being stolen means this: I was well grounded and then someone just came and sort of ripped that away from me without warning or anything. I think only one of my shoes were gone because I haven't completely lost grip. Thanks to the help of some good friends, I've been able to keep sane. I'm trying my best to keep optimistic about all of this and I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground instead of completely losing it and falling into a place I don't want to be. I didn't really change shoes, but a shoe was gone. I think that sort of means that things are changing even though I'm trying to keep them the same. The shoe was stolen, I had no option about it all.
To dream that your shoelaces are untied, indicate that you are unprepared for some task at hand.
My dream had nothing to do with shoelaces, but I think the same rules apply if my shoe is completely gone. I'm unprepared to walk the path that I need to.
If this meaning stuff is real, it makes alot of sense why I was so angry. I am angry. It's my fault, but my life really was ripped away from me. I'm not going to blame it on anyone else or anything. My life, my decisions, but I've always been a person to act without thinking of consequences. That's why me and my friends stayed the night with a random guy in a town we stumbled into even though he could've killed every single one of us while we were sleeping. That's part of the fun.
It's like jumping off of a big cliff into the water below. You never really know if it's safe. You could forget how to swim. You could lose yourself in the darkness and start swimming down instead of up. You could lose all your air and have to breathe in the water. You could hit rocks, lose conciousness. Anything could bring you to death in an instance, but hey, the risk is always half of the fun. I'm actually not sure that applies in this case, but in life it usually does. In any case, I think i've made sense of it all...or well, the important parts.
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